Sunday, June 28, 2009

Madness Of True Love



HeI loved with you ever honesty I could. You were the first girl of my life and will be my last one too! I know that society will find enough reasons to curse me tomorrow and say that The stupid Guy died for a girl, How foolish he was! They will infact label me as another Majnoo or something like that but their laughs on the face of my coffin don't make a difference to my will to die anymore, They are insane people who might never understand the continues pain of my heart which has made life worse then death! I suffer every passing night, mostly dreaming about the happy moments I shared ever since I met you!

When was the first time we met... class 10th or something? 7 years have passed indeed dear! It was a long time of full faith and commitment na! I cannot actually be strong enough to witness the end of it this way so before you get married to him tomorrow night, I am wishing you happiness with all of my heart and as a parshaad to my lord, I am sending off my soul, foolish it sounds, But my mind is not in a state to make that judgment...


before I go away and rest in peace! I want to let you know that since the very day I saw you, I fell in love with you, and before that as well as from there on it was no other, Yeah! I use to tease you that you are not like Rani Mujherjee or Sonal chauhan or catherine Zeta jones at times but that was all sheer leg pullin to make you smile just once, I want you to always remember that a smile on your face was and had always been my first priority so forgive me for all those stupid fights that we went through, I kiss your feet in my dreams to apologize for the times when I hurt you! I promised you a lot and always showed signs that one day I will succeed in life but finally landed on as a failure, m sorry! I worked really hard on that book I wrote and I really have'nt ever been able to judge why it was never published and accepted by anyone whom I tried to show it too! Finally I am sorry to you that I was not an I.A.S , In fact I never gave that exam, Had I been that I would have surely been your groom. I have flushed that ring which I purchased from selling that articles of my blog too! I pray to god that we meet again next life and I make you wear that ring too, I now know that being honest,loyal, faithful and caring is not an eligibility to woo your family, all you have to be is be an I.A.S. And finally I am sorry that your good boy have drunk for the first time in life today but I promise its the last time too...


With ocean of love and universe of blessings...

(WHAMP!! A BULLET SHOT !! The boy falls on floor... his eyes are red! Not with blood, revenge or anger... But with Love! True true love! )



His last words were...

Tujhe khone ke baad jab jeene ki wajah na mili...
tere ghum mein marna hi mera muqaddar that shayad


Once I lost you, I found no other reason to live and accepted that..
may be just To die from in the bliss of your pain was my destiny.


*************************************************



HerI had always been and I am sure is still a reason for you to cry! I am a bride today but why do I still see your name in my mehandi, Its color is not even half as dark as what It was when 2 years back on Diwali night I secretly colored myself with mehandi of your name! I had been the tough and less emotional girl in our relationship but there is hardly a count of things that I always felt for you, but its just that you being a writer was able to express it while me being a lazy spoil girl always failed to do so.

You were and you will always be the person in my heart, I shouted the same things to my father but he never accepted it and I am bound to hands of fate for being a doll in the face of a bride! I don't exactly know why it happened with us! Its impossible to convince my mom that only you cannot eat in college canteen for days to buy a pendant for me, only you can stay awake for me for nights when I stop talkin to you, Only you can sing songs on phone just to make my failures light, only you can walk in a mall with your friends and never turn around at a girl cos you live in a dream of being with me all the time, only you can look in my eyes and smile the way you do, only you can write world's most flawless poems to describe the love that we share, only you can comfort me speaking the most absurd things on face, only you can understand the real soul of mine, Only you can keep me happy for forever...

The list to this only you... is actually endless! And tears are spoiling this page while I am penning it down! I don't know what comforts I will have being the wife of An I.A.S but All I know is that he can and no one else can too be You! You were, You are and you had always been different !! Thanks for letting me know and letting me grow of what I am today, Its all because of you! I also want to let you know.... that... You were the best human being, best poet, best philosopher, best friend and most helpful person that I ever met and off course the best best lover too in all senses! I actually don't wanna give a first taste of something that I owe to you so where ever you are, just take care of yourself honey, I am ending this fake and incomplete life of mine which was only complete being in the shadows your soul, in the heat of your arms, in the whispers of your verses! I am sorry that I was never able to tell my father that being with an I.A.S is not all that a girl desires! Being with you is something that only luckiest people get a hand at, I was luckiest and its better dying than losing that state!

I belong to you and will always belong you....


(WITH THIS SHE JUMPS FROM HER BALCONY! WHILE MID WAY TO DEATH SHE REMEMBERS THE DIMPLE ON HIS FACE, SHE WAS FOUND DEAD THE NEXT MORNING... STILL SMILING IN HER CORPSE! )

Her last words were...

Us maut mein bhi ek tohfe sa maza hai
jiske saath bas teri ek jhalak mil jaye

That death too is as joyful as A gift..
which promises a single sight of you!



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------






( PS - The last one in the series of DARK posts that started with alfaaz 5, I am an over emotional person, very very filmy the way my stories sound at time... but I write from the vision of life that I live in, Its my world, where true love and emotions are way way above priority to practical things! My pen lives in its own world which I admit sounds Unreal to most of you but It actually is not so unreal to my perceptions... a post on kajal's blog on a similar parting away topic was very realistic and I still love it as one of the best blog post I have ever read! uncomplete sentences have multiple ends, but as they say no story is complete till the end is positive... so the last pic shows their reunion in heaven! I am a hopeless over romantic creature...and I know my days are limited in this practical world, soon either I will be just one of them or get crushed... till that time I want to live in my fairy world of emotions)

(PPS - Jo mera ho nahi paayega Is Jahan mein kabhi... Run ban kar milunga Usko... Aasmaa mein kahin, Pyaar Dharti pe Farishton se Kiya nahi jaata, Khubsurat hai woh Itna saha nahi jaata... kaise Hum Khud ko rok lein... Raha nahi jaata )

Afterscript - I LOVE YOU! DONT EVER LEAVE ME...

61 comments:

Dhanya said...

Hey Pulkit!

That was depressing! :( But the way you framed the story was good... different...

I do read almost all ur posts :) But yeah, I haven't commented much for the last few days coz I was away from home...

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

so very touching it was and beautifully penned. :)

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

so very touching it was and beautifully penned down. :)

Irisha said...

vry nic post ...loved it!! bt vry emtnll tooo :( ..bt wt is ds"am a hopeless over romantic creature...and I know my days are limited in this practical world, soon either I will be just one of them or get crushed... till that time I want to live in my fairy world of emotions" huhh...i dn lk ds okii wt is ds haan stpd line!! ....jus tryin to recall ech n evry lin of ur post agn n agn...soundss rlyy good..fabulous!! keep wrtin ..god blss u tc!!

paramveer said...

gud one...n long tym to c sm +ve energy here!!...dark!!!

Escapist said...

Story z gud !


Hve yuh watched 7 pounds,see the gist out that ! n yuh will see the purity of love....



Jollies !!!

Rishabh V3rma said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm........!
nice...one ...but ill leave no comments..!!

Salman said...

its been days so honestly i wanted to leave a comment this time but yarrr....tooo lengthy :P

pinkZz said...

that was too touching.. really..
beautifully expressed..

want 2 write a lot more.. but i don't have enough words ...

really heartfelt post...!

love you.! keep writing !

nilima said...

vry well expresed..! bt a bit painfull too.. it shows dat gettin love is alwas not so easy..! love can drive neone byond ol limitations..!

keep writin..!
love u!

PULKIT said...

@ Dhanya - tragedy too is a part of fiction and it always is depressing in the end :) but immortal too :D

thanks for being here!
hope u enjoyed ur stay away from home in holidays too! tc god bless! keep commenting
UR ONE PERSON...WHOSE COMMENTS I SERIOUSLY LOOK FORWARD AS UR HONEST AND directive always :) and it helps me a lot

PULKIT said...

@ preetilata - thanks a ton dear :)

PULKIT said...

@ preetilata - comment got repeated :P
one of the bad things about comment modertation :)

PULKIT said...

@ irisha - thanks for reading it dear, dont find u in comments much!
anyways...

"I know my days are limited in this practical world, soon either I will be just one of them or get crushed... till that time I want to live in my fairy world of emotions"

I SAID THAT COS - there are too many people around me who think I am stupidly emotional and non practical and believes that very soon when I will start my professional life then I WILL BECOME PRACTIAL TOO... i dont believe them but agar aisa hogaya then I wont be able to write such posts!
so I said all that in this regard!!

PULKIT said...

@ param - it was a 3 post dark negative series here buddy! and this was the last one in that chain!
next post will be postitive and different!
thats a promise!!

PULKIT said...

@ Escapist - welcome to the followers of the blog dear !! THANKS FOR THAT!!
:)
I havent see 7 pounds yet... wud try to catch up with that dear!
till then... hope to see ya around this comments box :)
keep visiting!

PULKIT said...

@ Rishab - what kind of comment is that?

PULKIT said...

@ salman sir - pura read kariyega kabhi...it might be worth the length!!

PULKIT said...

@ Pinkzz - lov ya too! thanks for the most motivating comment on this page!
:)
meant a lot to me!!
:)

PULKIT said...

@ Nilima - thanks for the comments as always!!

Girl Next Door said...

That was Awesome Pulkit !! ... Really touchy.. And yeah true Love is above all materialistic things :)

Anurag said...

dude this was touching and emotional mann ...Keep churning out such stuff mann ....

Arun Kumar said...

very depressin post man...
I dont believe in heaven... so its kinda a sad ending for me...

BTW... loved ur dark posts man... the first one in hindi i didnt understand.... the next two are awesome...

Shanu said...

Very well written.

Nice read :)

neha dhamija said...

Hey Pulkit
I dnt know what to say abt this particular post. Its not dark actually, its more than dark. Its sadistic. What is mentioned here is not love..definitely not true love
May be we have different perceptions towards it.

Phoenix said...

tell me.. no really i wanna know.......im serious...what the hell do you eat for breakfast to churn out such magnificent posts?!

PULKIT said...

@ girl next door - thanks for the appreciation and M gLad u liked the post :)

PULKIT said...

@ anurag - thanks bro! I will try my best :)

PULKIT said...

@ arun kumar - thanks a lot bro for appreciating the whole series :)
yeah! its a very very sad ending... but sometime it happens

PULKIT said...

@ shanu - thanks for the appreciation! hope to see ya at my blog again!
keep visiting

PULKIT said...

@ neha - its when true love turns to madness!
not true love indeed!
I agree!
:)
thanks for reading it... Even though m sure u dint liked it :)
bt still u read and commentd...it means a lot to me

PULKIT said...

@ phoenix - cute of u to say that! HUGS! comment made me giggle with happines!
thanks a lot :)

ANWESA said...

i wonder-will they be together after death?

PULKIT said...

@ anwesa - welcome to my blog again!
Its about a belief that genrally previals that true love always come back to you, in ur lifetime of in some other form

Satans Darling™ said...

I have to admit that it is a very well executed piece of prose, but on the other hand I cannot deny the fact that it is a bit too depressing for me. I guess I read it at the wrong time!

Anyway, nice read :)

Glad you're done with the dark series. They're very dark. Darkest of them all :P

AD said...

that was depressing but sooooooooooooooooooo beautiful!

really!!!

loved every word!

Escapist said...

Yap sure ! will keep an eye on your blog......

Long time some what same happened in our office,will try to write in my blog ....will be upcoming blog....


Joliees!!!!1

PULKIT said...

@ ash - I CANT TELL U HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE U BACK ON MY BLOG COMMENT BOX :D

big wala smile !!

anyways... m sorry that I served depression in ur plate and that too at a bad time as u mentioned!
:(

but I am equally glad that u thought my sadness and darkness in writing was having scary depths of pessimism! How stupid I am to be proud of even that... :P
THANKS FOR THE APPRECIATION OF THE PROSE! M GLAD THAT U FELT ITS DEDTH AND WARMTH

PULKIT said...

@ AD - M glad that u loved it!
HOPE TO SEE U AROUND ON MY BLOG MORE OFTEN THEN ;)

PULKIT said...

@ escapist - sure! me waiting for that :)
to be penned down! do that surely !!
UR A REAL POSITIVE PERSON...CAME BACK TO CHECK THE REPLY :) how sweet of u dear:)
thanks a lot!!

Shreyans Mehta said...

Hyper-romantic if I might put it this way...

Lot of typo errors though. Do re-read and rectify the errors.

Enjoy!
Shrey

PULKIT said...

@ shreyans - thanks for the visit! I guess its the first one :)
sorry for the typo errors... and yeah! madness is the title so it got to be hyper na :)

Thousif Raza M.B said...

Pulkit sorry yaar i am late to your blog, i am still on the hunt as you might know, so today i took time to drop by

i liked the story, filmi at times, but the PS all made it clear,

i understand that you feel things and then write, same is the case with me, good going yaar

take care and keep writing......

Jyoti said...

Oh-my-God! Am I numb or what?

This was so awesome. I think i got goosebumps..:-S

This is the first time I stumbled onto your blog(Literally).. And you managed to make me your fan right away!

I still have to go through the rest of your posts.. I shall do that very soon.

I am still feeling numbish! What have you done to me?!

PULKIT said...

@ thousif - adaab sir :)
ur not late or somethin bro! infact m glad that u visited it :)
hope to see ya again here :)

tc god bless!
have a gr8 day!!

PULKIT said...

@ jyoti - followed u right back deary :)
me too a member of ur blog family now just as u become of mine :)
I will be very happy to see u around in the comment box again... m glad that u read this long post and liked it too :)

ROHIT GOEL said...

Well its good have such articles. I enjoyed reading it.. though it was a sorrow one! The depth of love portrayed is awesome. Sorry couldn't read it earlier due to some work.

May your pen continues to bring forth your feelings and reality ..
wish you success

PULKIT said...

M glad that u liked it rohit...I am working a lot on Fiction these days and this was just another attempt at that :)

The Aspirant said...

sir i dunt know wad to say........coz d way u xpress ur feelings is just awesum. I really dunt hav words fr appreciating u......m too a budding writer but i m indebted to my frnd who hs introduced me to ur blog.......
really an unthinkable beauty of work u have done.......

PULKIT said...

@ aspirant - thanks a lot bro for so many humble words of appreciation!
m really glad that u felt this way :)
welcome to my blog family!!

Satyu said...

Aahh, Truly beautiful.
Don have any words for you.
You are amazing.
Each every word so pure,coated with loads of emotions and mainly love.
Woww..

Loved it :)

Takacare
Keep smiling :)

neha said...

hi pulkit....
m really very sori 4 nt reading ur posts since long...bt seriously...dis is d 1st post m reading aftr long....n m touched wid its feelings, expressions....
its nicely put up!!!
has a heart in its own....

Salil said...

arey yaar, pulkit, kya ho gaya bhai.......is everything alright............i mean kisii ladki ne dhoka de diya ho toh bata....demaag sahi kar denge yaar.........this one is too dark yaar.....too depressing....bhai aise thoughts toh tab aate hain jab jhagda ho jaata hai....aur tumhaara jhagda ho kisii se....i dont think so.....kuch happy happy likh de yaar..................hamara bhee mood sahee ho jae.....yaar..........hero-heroine dono ko maar dia tune yaar.......too depressing and too sad...............padh ke demaag ghoom gaya......do din neend nahi aane waali hai............

Salil said...

I don't really know whether what you have written.....its good or bad....but its definitely high on shock value..........this can't be ignored.........had to read it till the end..........

now....I give you an idea
write a thriller.........
Note:it should not be a love story
......rather include hatred instead of love.....
and this should not be related to true love or love or faith in anyway.......(love might be a part but not the basis of your story line or plot).............I will also give you a Title........"Killed in Dilemma".....this is the title......
and in this whatever characters you choose....(male or female or both its up to you)........they end up hating each other..........ultimately killing each other.......because of their inability to think because of hatred......keep a lot of twists and turns if possible........I think you will be able to do it.....after reading your "madness of true love".......

this is a request.......do not stress yourself.......take it the way you have done so many things over here


..........but boy whatever you have done over here........amazing to see that......I won't say I liked everything over here.......I found a few things too dirty, crappy and boring and disturbing for my level of sensibility "and don't u dare find this offensive....I am not offending you.....just kinda giving my own opinion....plz don't get angry on that...........because even if you do.........nothing wud happen....Kidding obviously......but plzz donot get angry......its a human tendency of criticizing good.......and there are things I loved......like your poem on kissing business.....I think I loved that.......you will find a comment there as well......


anyws back to the idea....please if you find time work on it.......do not stress yourself....ok.......c ya.....

PULKIT said...

@ salil - yaar... this post was a part of 3 post series of Dark posts! I wrote it as a trilogy of 3 sad stories and this was the last one in that series!
It was meant to leave a depressing effect on readers and many feedbacks told me that I was successful in doing so :)

PULKIT said...

@ salil - I promise bro! That I would work on this soon :)

Your idea was really creative! I am not sure when and how I will be able to execute it but surely I shall be doing it some time soon!
:)

thanks mate!

and I am never offended by any feedback by any friend :)

PULKIT said...

@ salil - You dont like the usual poetry,prose and love stories @ PCIP so I am giving u some links of the things that You might Like - do give these a try -

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/07/legacy-famous-last-words.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/07/self-deception.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/07/dew-for-flowershoney-for-bee-love-and.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/06/from-diary-of-terrorist.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/05/saturday-kannauj.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/05/when-they-lose-it-hurts.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/04/life-of-innocents-in-pakistan-swat.html


http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2009/02/enigma-of-janis-joplin.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2008/11/poetic-cries-for-paintings-expression.html

http://19goes20.blogspot.com/2008/10/terrorism-is-not-jihad.html

ViDiShA said...

I read dis post vry late I hope I wud have done tht frst..ur blog has so b'ful post...everytime I am here I m touched wid all ur emotions...u hv so mch purity in ur writing n dis one is realy vry b'ful..i m falling short words..its not something unreal..actully dis is our true real face wch v keep on hiding in dis practicl wrld....u r phenomenal writr....keep writin..!!!

PULKIT said...

@ Vidisha - This is one of the most inspiring feedback I have ever received :)
Thanks!!

sweta kushwaha said...

hey . . . sad story . . ..very sad indeed . .. bt the word u used wer beyong beutiful . . especially tht para by d gal explainin wht d guy ws to her...so romantic lines.. .made my heart weep . ..

romantic lovers said...

waow vwery nice profile