Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A Letter To The God


With you I fight
when I grumble
I salute your might
when I stumble!
I close my eyes... when I cry
a tear drops and ...
I pray!



Dear God,


Its been ages since I last heard from ya! I agree to the core of my heart that I am a very complaining human being! I cry more for things that I don't have and thank you less for the things that you have blessed me with. I commit sins every passing fortnight and hurt people around me with most of the words that I omit from my mouth! I hurt even those who love me with their pure selflessness... I destroyed a lot of good that you created in me once in terms of thoughts and actions!

I had skipped my promises I once made to you, have ditched friends that you gave to me, have dumped the worthy things that you tried to bring in my way... but that was all long back!


I never said sorry to you for any of those because I sincerely believe that you are right there, watching it all, Knowing it that why I did that... I have never given you reasons for my actions cos I really believed that you know them all already... thats what my faith is!

I hardly pray to you every single morning as a schedule or something but does a son have to say thanks to his father for every single thing that he gets by him each morning! When I use to pray in my school I t began with a phrase “Our father in heaven...” . Since that very day I believed you as my father! I had showed it less... as I am a disobedient son, but a son indeed! Isn't it?


Then where are you dad? For what amongst all my sins are you punishing me so so harshly? I say sorry to you for the first time cos I want to let you know, that I had been waiting for you to pamper me a bit from ages! Ever since I ran from your doorsteps, 5 years back... and came and cried on my bed cursing you, I had waited for you to enter my room, tap me on the back and just hug me once!


I challenged you! I spoke bad about you! I even questioned your existence... but that was all just to grab your attention father! Don't you know that? Don't you know me? Don't you know how foolish and childish you son is? Since that very day I believed you as my father! I had showed it less... as I am a disobedient son, but a son indeed! Isn't it?


Enough of this pa! I need you... not just now, I always needed you actually, you always knew it too! Still you never came for my rescue... I fought and fought and now I quit! I wont fight more till then time you promise that you will fight with me too! Tears ... father please come and give me a hug once! I am starving... its been ages since you last played with me, its been ages since you last heard me sing, its been ages since you last watched me dance, its been ages since you last held me!

My soul is not that sinful, its the above cover that pushes it in that mud, from within U know who I am. Since that very day I believed you as my father! I had showed it less... as I am a disobedient son, but a son indeed! Isn't it?

Kal main roya tha tujhse lad k
aaj main roya hun tujhe manane ko
aapki raah mein khada hun aaj
aapke sajde mein jhuka hun phir...
agar girne lagun toh utha lena
ho sake toh maaf kar dena!



**********************************************

( Ps – tu mere rubaru hai... teri aankhon ki Ibadad hai, bas itni Izzazat de... kadmon mein zameen rakh dun! Phir sar na uthe mera, ye jaan bhi wahin rakh dun... Ek baar toh deedar de, Ek baar toh deedar de... deewana bana apna, deewangi yun ki hai! )

( Pps – signing off in tears! A very emotional and personal post! I don't know what I wrote and why I wrote... You might have missed everything that I was talking about, but I knew exactly what I was trying to say!! This is not a blog post, Its a self soul talking...)


44 comments:

PULKIT said...

I wrote it late 4 o clock last night or today morning whatever u can say...

scheduled it !! and so its posted right now...

a post under the lable "music and lyrics" coming up! OR a dedication .... any one of the two!!

Superunknown said...

Intriguing.

Pretty Me!! said...

such posts help not just your soul to heal but a lot others too ... thanks for witing this :)

myundiary@gmail.com said...

I needed this today. Great work.
http://eachotherskeeper.blogspot.com

paramveer said...

i hope HE is listening you!!..

Choco said...

I hope he responds. But every time I think of God in this manner I cannot help but think off all those children living in makeshift tents under flyovers and the like...If God doesn't listen to them why will he listen to us???

Just a thought :)
Take care....

Sneha said...

i dont have any answer except wo log blessed hai jo physically disabled nahi hai. or sab problems tou aati hai jati hai solve hoti rehti hai.

achcha likha hai.

keep writing.:)

Brosreview said...

Quite touching! Keep writing!

BlossomBlue said...

Pulkit i m soo speechless after reading ur post..Trust me this is one of the wonderful post i have read so far..

The day we start thanking for every situation we go through, good or bad our heart will be humbled and we will receive lord's grace..

@choco
Nobody on this earth is perfect choco.. People are disabled in one or the other way, some physically n some emotionally.. Emotionally sick ppl might b phisically fit and physically disabled ppl might be emotionally fit.

So god will always listen to who CALL FOR HIM !! Here our heart and attitude towards god matters than our problems..

Pulkit mahn m sorry its such a long comment. When it comes to god, i cant stop.. I love him the most..

God Bless U abundanlty dear.. Keep writing.. Loooooooooooooved it very much..

Butterfly Thoughts said...

Well you have a spiritual side too.A very touchy post. Rarely we do talk to god..and tell HIM our problems. God Bless You.

Anonymous said...

pulkit!this the best!
i like ur spiritual thoughts...
not only this but the way u give
an expression to ur emotion!
well i would say..
keep the faith alive!
and one day ...ull be heard!
with nice thoughts regards...
riya

Bhargav Saikia said...

Very touching. Lovely writing :)

priyanka said...

hey pulkit u only say never lose hope n trust though the post is amazing par ismein bhi i could feel the pain as it was in the previous post .........n paramveer god will definately listen to my bro prayers it will never go in buffer and riya i thank u on pulkits behalf for ur concern too but just wana mention ki not only in this post but pulkit put his heart n soul in his every post ........n bhai trust yourself aaj tumahri seekh tumhe hi yaad dila rahihoon i loved it as always god bless u love u loads bhai

neha dhamija said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Priya Joyce said...

That was a touching plea..
specially those lines in Hindi ahh

we make a lot of mistakes in life..yet he forgives us..
I believe..in his love :)

Vyshu said...

Hi Pulkit,

My first visit here...Nice blog..!will be adding to my blogroll..:)

And,this post is an awesome piece.

***Tears...father please come and give me a hug once!

Very touching..i do eel the same way manny times..Hes my only one person where i cn confide in completely..felt every word written in ur post ..!

God's love and mercy are great..!

Keep writing.!

Cheers,
vyshu

Anurag said...

dude...awesome mann...I think I have read you in the writer's lounge too....It's not easy to write something like this.....U Must be spiritual guy...lol

Wd keep coming here :)

dreamer said...

Heart touching.....you are really good at heart...god must be listening have faith...its that human beings are shortsighted....we have no idea of his plans....have faith.... good always happens to good people.

Irisha said...

trulyy sayn ..its vry vry touching!! mus say dt very well wrttn dear....jus wn kw dt R U OKI?? dn u wrryy evryhthn gonna b fyn..fr sure ur dad going to lstn u...pakke se...cheer up!!as m dr to supprt u..keep wrtin lk ds ...may god bless u!!

Ekam said...

God is always there for you , with you. Feel it. Its just that we think of Him only when we have some problem. Just believe in Him. He'll do the right for you always at right time. God bless you :)

PULKIT said...

@ superknown - thanks for the comments!

PULKIT said...

@ prats - pleasure was mine

PULKIT said...

@ myundiary - thanks for the acceptance!

PULKIT said...

@ param - I know he will...

PULKIT said...

@ choco - that was a counter view, But we all serve our deeds, me too and they too!!

PULKIT said...

@ sneha - thanks for the comments! tareef karne ka shukriya :)

PULKIT said...

@ brosreview - keep reading!!

PULKIT said...

@ blossomblue - dont be sorry for the length of ur comment! from what I have known u so far! In this blusshit of a blog world... Ur one real good human being! I saw ur comments on WL too! and Ur always emotionally attached to works u read... thanks for being a part of my blog family!!

PULKIT said...

@ butterfly thoughts - thanks!

PULKIT said...

@ riya - thanks for appreciation! I know ur wishes are always there right with me!!

PULKIT said...

@ bhargav - thanks for visit and comments

PULKIT said...

@ priyanka - I dont know exactly how to reply to u everytime I read ur comments...
the selfless love u show me is out of my ability to be return even 1% sis!
In this fake fake blog world... I am blessed tht I have a reader like u! Ur just my strength!!

PULKIT said...

@ neha - thanks for taking care of me and for being there for me everytime I need u!!

PULKIT said...

@ priya - thanks for the visit and comments!
hope to see u here again!!

PULKIT said...

@ vyshu - m honoured to have u as a part of my blogroll, welcome aboard! thanks keep visiting!!

PULKIT said...

@ anurag - m looking forward to more of ur comments too dear!!

PULKIT said...

@ dreamer - I dont know what to say to this! All I know is that I have faith and where and how it is inside me, My god knows it well!
keep visiting!
thanks for the comments!

PULKIT said...

@ Irisha - m fine dear! thanks a lot for comments :)
made me smile!
I NEED U A LOT... and I know ur always there for me!
I dont need any one else...!!

PULKIT said...

@ ekam - I Missed u sooooooo much!
thanks for coming back eku!
tc god bless!!

PULKIT said...

@ EVERYONE - for the first time in my blogging life I have enabled comment moderation!

THANKS to my association with Saucy evil once.... I wont ever visit such a place again!
thats a promise! may god bless them and ...
may I never get to face anything that someone associated to that blog wrote for me!

Its because of them solely that I have removed my shout box too!!

Phoenix said...

oye same pinch... i mean u n me share the same relationship with god... even i have this friendship with god like you.. and every few months i have these letters to god!

btw mr god is hearing you...so fikar not... :)

PULKIT said...

@ raka - thanks yaar!!

Arun Kumar said...

Wow dude very very heart felt n heart touching post... humbling...
Loved ur penultimate para... addressing God as ur pal... Thats the way i do....

Arpita said...

DEAR! It's really very awesome.
and this is again a commen thing b/w us.I am also in the habit of talking to my BEST FRIEND(GOD).
go ahed dear!HE always answers everyone's prayers.Trust me dear only parents will take the place of him no one else.so lucky guy...You have 3 GODS with you...