With the dawn of every relationship, comes a series of emotional loops. It is mostly a phase of great psychological despair, which though seems to be unavoidable can actually be reduced immensely in terms of the pain it causes us, once we are able to develop an understanding with the chain of events that take place with almost every break up.
With every relationship which preludes with a promise of honest and pure love, there comes a bunch of most fantacising dreams. These are the dreams of an everlasting forever love that the two individuals start to built. Whereas it is the mind of a young love which is foolish enough that it mostly fails to calculate the hardships and the stroma of the long journey that they are planning. As the time progresses, not all relationships make it to what they thought to be. And then the following chain of events follows:
Firstly, we think that even though things have not been working lately, our parter will stay with us, after all there had been so much of intake of emotions from both ends that it seems impossible for all that to go in vain. Things will be fine very soon; the optimism of the love speaks to us.
Time passes on and the quarrals, misunderstandings and arguments never takes a stop. We shout, grumble and even reach the point of no communication. Yet we admit that we are commited more than ever to our parter and will get them back in our lives. We show anger, a bit of ego, then emotions, some begging and millions of private confessions in the end that we can’t live without our partner’s to them itself.
The pain takes a toll till this third stage where we start crying in lonely corners, regretting every move of ours that made us lose the one soul we loved the most. We spend nights thinking about each and every moment spent with that person but till this time we no longer call or talks to the person which is there in our mind all the while. Somehow and I must say very rightly, our self respect comes in between. At this phase many mutual friends and family members try to remove this distance but they not only fails in doing so but also causes maximum pain to both individuals. Uptill now we finally start admitting to this word called “break up”, we realize that things are and will no longer be the same again.
The final and the most painful phase are of the self frustration. Why it’s me? Why did that happened in my case? Is everyone laughing at me? Am I the one in pain while my ex is having a gala time? Why? These thoughts project us for a very dangerous phase of emotional stress and depression. We laugh too loudly with friends and cry even louder when in soltitude. We don’t share any bit of our troubles with anyone. We curse our ex alone and praise him in public. Sometimes we blame ourselves to our soul and sometimes Calles the other person a cheat, liar and ditcher.
Than all this agony is soon taken over by time which prooves to be the only healer and the other things that heips us to move on is our pursuit of career, a self love which is there in everone, a happiness that we get by smiling, friends and family that works harder than we expect to make us laugh, a satisfaction that we get by moving on and showing everyone that we can move, a great content that we get by showing our ex that you never were the reason to live.
Those who fail to overcome all this and falls down before this final phase are the people who commit suicide for lovers, and becomes alcoholics and drug addictcs etc. these poor people fails to understand that the pain of broken love ends in this same manner evertime and even the pain that we get in the previous phases can we overcome much easily with the following steps:-
Avoid any exaggregated emotional shouting and pubilc display of fights in the arguments at the initial quarrels.
Never let the inner self belief fade within you when your partner lets you down.
Always believe the fact that there was life and happiness before him and will also be after him.
Forgive and forget. Never curse and critisize your partner in front of friends & never ask questions to yourself which blames your inner self respect.
Always acknowledge the things that you learnt from this break up and appreciate the fact that you are a strong soul.
Avoid the mutual friends for a while and don’t discuss and what and how's of the break up to any such common friend.
Move on and don’t close all the doors for new friends and family members, neither seclude yourself in dark rooms nor close the aspect of any fun in you life.
Take things maturely, realize the importance of career pursuits and never let your focus loose. Move with the practical objective that career and self happiness comes first.
Do things that you always loved to do, occupy your self and try to have as much fun when you are alone as you have when in company.
Life has endless opportunities. One fail relationship has many reasons behind it and at times it has no reason behind the break up. Sometimes break up is just an event which was to take place and thus it took place, so stop analysing it now. Move on and keep smiling in the long run of life. Stop looking for traits of past love in the new people that enters your life. Close the chapters that gives you pain and realize the old saying that self love is the first and formost love don’t ever spoil your life. Always win your self anger with self love, self sin with self virtues and dilusive lies with bitter but honest truths of life.
(It was written by me long time back for a website called thesenorita.com and then got place in my premier blog few months back while I was learning the initial phase of blogging! At that time very few people read it! so I am sharing this here with everyone!! )