He tried many things to get rid of her but his efforts were ineffectual. He was tempted to take drugs to relive from the pain but when ever he tried to use them he found her holding his hand and stopping him. Her Smile. Her smell... more intoxicate engaging then anything he had ever heard of.
Every day he used to go to the park , the one which witnessed the friendship turning in to love. He spent many hours thinking about her. The soft n beautiful grass turned into thorns, the pieces of his broken dreams started pricking him more. He tried to end his life but then realized that it would cause more pain to his love which he can never ever afford. He used to stare at unmoving objects whole day, passage of day was a pain, an endless wait.
Time was flying too fast. The seasons were changing but he was the same , the wounds were becoming deeper and deeper. It was august , the month which was very special for both of them, the month in which they were born. It was his b'day, the lesions were again fresh. He sat on his bed and his eyes were stuck at his last year present,a handmade greeting card . He got up and took the card out and he started reading. His hands were shivering.
Wish you many many happy returns of the day jaan. I am short of words...out of expressions, and in a lack of sense...when I try to narrate u...How u actually make me feel. You touch me like no other have ever touched me, a sweet peck on my cheek when I am low, a gentle kiss on my eyes when I am heavy, a wet lick on tongue...when I am honry :P Ha! You know it all...
I feel beautiful, when I am with you... my man! The prince of my dreams...I wish you success, you are a hard worker, an amazing human being... A sweet friend, A responsible partner...and A real hero, that every girl would dream of!
Next time... Kiss me hard! I belong to you... My shy ashique!
PS - Take me away :( cant think of living without u jaan, U know this.... Clear the cat. I know u will. Then marry me :) Mumma papa wont be able to say No to you then for sure... waise abhi bhi...they like u pata :) My hero... muaaaaaah
The envelope was wet with his tears, when he kept it down. He cried harder then ever...puffed cigratte...till his eyes crumbled to sleep. Drank wine, Till his head ached extremes, and ended the night on the lowest note ever. Begging for mercy, Unable to wonder why is this pain gripping him so hard. He cried and prayed to god... to make him hear something good, from somewhere atleast.
He woke up tired. Flushed her card in the bathroom...and burnt her letters, He stood there expressionless while doing so. He went back to his desk, opened the Lappy. He had a mail from his CL coaching that said... "CAT results Out, Congrats for your scorecard – 98.99 percentile , called for 6 IIM's GD PI and shortlisted for 78 plus other tier A colleges"
He read it. He slept again without smiling for even once. This was something for which he had worked endlessly and as hard as one can but somehow he felt nothing when the moment finally came. It was all an ironical strange sequence of events, He wondered where is almighty taking him. He asked to himself, If there is one?
He was missing her. He ran out, climbed the terrace and looked at the sky and whispered "I wish you here Jaan..I wish " tears trickled down his eyes. He wanted it to rain..rain profusely so that it can drain his pain. He remained on the terrace, din eat anything. His phone was ringing, his friends were calling him to wish him , he din respond to any. He was waiting for one call , a call which will bring back his life, his soul and change him from mortal to immortal. He waited and waited.
“Kaash aaj phir baarish ho,
mere wajood mein basi teri khusbo pe,
shabnam ki phuhaar pade
aur meri aankhon mein chalakte aansuon ko pochney
tu ghata ki tarah kahin se umhad pade...”
and It rained... But...
The call he longed for, never came, In the midst of all this... He realized how her departure from his life has taught him a lesson..
A lesson contrary to his theory of life so far, A lesson to never love someone in life, A lesson to not be loyal with anyone ever again, A lesson to not be sacrificing, selfless and committed in life for someone special, A lesson that he wished...to make a part of his persona, But he was too good to change, He wanted to be a devil...for the rest of his life, To cheat all, To betray those who love him... He cried, The pain was too much. Utter confusion... Contradictions... sleepless nights, stranger thoughts.
On the other end, Somewhere... The most beautiful girl in world was staring out of the window witnessing rain. She thought of Pranav and where he would be, she saw on television that CAT results were out and knew somehow that he must have cleared it with flying colors, she wanted to talk to her. And Thus she switched on her old cell. And Before she would have dialed his number, it ranged
Rang once. she din wait for the second ring n she had cut it. She immediately switched off her phone coz she knew that her love would call her back. She felt guilt. She felt confused. She felt sorry, sorry for him that he loved her...
She was lying in her bed..curled up and she started crying. She was cursing her fate for being so rude to her ,for making her so helpless. She wanted to die but couldn't dare to do that. Her eyes were swollen. She went and sat before the system and opened her mail. Her inbox was filled with mails from Pranav. She started reading all the mails again. She composed a mail to him.. she wrote her heart out and told him how much she was missing him too, all this while and always . When the mail ended. her face was all wet , she has been crying continuously. She moved the cursor to the send button but she clicked ' Save Now'. Immediately her drafts folder opened which read 587 Drafts.
She was back in her bed starring at the ceiling. She closed her eyes n with in no time she was lost in the memory lane. The last time she saw Pranav with tears in his eyes , she wished to hug him tight and say 'I'm not leaving honey ,I'm yours forever ' . She curled up.. her stomach was aching , she desperately wanted to be in his arms. She was rolling in the bed,it was suffocating .She wanted some air to breathe..she ran on to the terrace. Took a very deep breathe. She could feel him within her. She looked at the stars , her eyes were full of questions. The moon who was savored by their love is now afraid to face her.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
- By Satyu and Pulkit