Monday, June 15, 2009

The regret

Jalta nahi shareer
marti nahi rooh ...
zindagi ki raahon mein bas,
jalta hai woh dil jiske kabhi kuch armaan they
aur marti hai woh nazar jiske kabhi kuch sapne they

I was never a part of them
my thought was mine ...
the expressions descend
self glory of their shine!

Diluted dejected and disturbed
caught in their fake web,
from those whom I trusted
I was slay and stab!

My fault was all that ...
I was a dreamer of mist.
I wanted to built a nest,
of my own priority list.

expressing myself to
the silence of loneliness,
In the pool of my tears
I submit in this mess ...

Of all that I desired
no wish was fulfilled!
From the sword of my god
my soul got killed!!

Here in this flame and its
tormenting agonizing heat ...
I am being burnt to death
while My heart prays to beat !!


This one is a dedication to every one around me whom I trusted in the last 4 years of my so called life.
I hate the very fact that I am drenching my life the way In which I am still leading it!
Every decision that I ever took in the past seems like a mistake to me this very moment...
In the blaze of pain and sweat of tears on my face! I sign off! Don't ask questions like why, how etc etc...
I might not have an answer to them! Cos there exists no answer! I wish come fake people around me burn to ashes soon...


(June 14 - 16:05)

(Ps - Zindagi ki talaash mein hum, maut k kitne paas aa gaye... Jab ye socha toh ghabra gaye, Aa gaye... hum kahan aa gaye....!! Hum they aise safar pe chale , jiski koi bhi manzil nahi.... Humne saari umar jo kiya, Uska koi bhi haasil nahi !! Socho hum kitne mazboor they, jo na karna tha... woh kar gaye, apne baare mein socha toh hum... apne haalaat se darr gaye!! Zindagi ki talaash mein hum, maut k kitne paas aa gaye... Jab ye socha toh ghabra gaye, Aa gaye... hum kahan aa gaye....!! )


Brosreview said...

Quite a black post on bleakness, this one. Considering your footnote revealing the post to be personal, I would say no man has ever succeeded keeping his thoughts tied to the chains of the past.

Your bright future is somehow connected to the forgotten past. Let go of it, else it will keep pulling you back like that door knob holding the sleeve of your shirt.

Instead of regretting it, build on it. Use it as a stepping stone to something colourful and cheerful. It is frankly pointless to recall the past and dwell on it. Instead, channel that energy to something more productive today for a better tomorrow.

These wrong decisions you've made cannot be undone but shall alert you in your future.

I feel happy for you that you've recognised and realized something honest this time. And, feel bad for those who shall lose your company for being fake.

Good luck!

PS: Pardon the length of my response. I thought I should write this to you because as far as I know, you have a good heart.

Phoenix said...

i just loved the last para..its beautiful :)

Anonymous said...

As much as i loved the post, i was saddened to see it is a personal post ... comeback to your cheery self dear .. talk to me .. as i did some time back .. tk cre :)

Anonymous said...

Brother, don't lose hope!
Every1 has to go through some similar sort of phase in our lifes, afterall is duniya mein sab log ek jaise nahi hote.

Anyway do rmbr tht still we all are with u Pulkit!
So do let us knw if we can come to any of urs help.

Tk Cr.
May God Bless U!


the english one is really mind blowing.. n the last para is really trilling..

hindi one is also gud.. better than the previous ones..
bt why so negativity in life.. frm last some posts i m seeing that.. its all realated to negativity..

be positive yaar... even though u dont have B+ blood group... ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

hey bro..!
don't b a pessimist.. think positive..!
nothing else to say.. no questions..
coz u got no answers to give na..
anyways ! don't lose hope !
take care..!
wid u always !


priyanka said...

hey pulkit be postive bhai i know it would be sounding like a lecture but we love you n we cant see u in this mood yaar.....cheer up and smile plsss

PULKIT said...

@ brosreview - Yes the post was personal indeed ajey!! I had been avoiding to attach any negative personal note from my end on this page and to avoid spreading negativity around but the more I am getting involved in blogging, the more is my blog getting involved in me! feels helpless at times and gets forced to disclose... anyhow, Its easy to guess... In the past also... my blog had many poems with a depressed end!!! If I am the one who is penning them down then something or the other is a part of me!! right? !!
Your bright future is somehow connected to the forgotten past. Let go of it, else it will keep pulling you back like that door knob holding the sleeve of your shirt. I WILL TRY TO NEVER FOR GET THIS AJEY! THANKS!!

PS - never apologise for the length of response on this page ajey! Its always the biggest pleasure to read a long comment till the end... feels a bliss for being treated emotionally for something written by an emotional heart :)


PULKIT said...

@ Phoenix - thanks raka! follow my blog, If u like the regular work here!

PULKIT said...

@ Pratsie - I know ur always there for me sis! makes me feel strong that I have so many people around! It was just a off day... and I dwelled a little too much into the pessimism as always to bring out the best from me in the sadness!
I will let u know for sure If I ever need u! ye toh haq hai mera... hai na?

PULKIT said...

@ Ultimate change - dear prabhjot, I really feel that My blog have recognised u less as a reader and friend till date!
pardon me for that bro!
UR A REAL GEM TO HAVE! one of the big possesion in my flurry of frns in the so called friendly blog world! THANKS FOR BEING THERE BRO! UR A REAL GOOD HUMAN BEING

PULKIT said...

@ sahityika - mera blood group B + hi hai waise... :P
anyways... hindi waali last poem (alfaaz - 4) read that! hope ul like that one!
thanks for the appreciation on eng one this time around!


PULKIT said...

@ Pinkkz - hey vedshreee! hows u lil sis?
brought a big smile on my face seeing u back on my blog :)

U MEAN A LOT TO ME!! Thanks for being there!! :) tight wala hug!!

PULKIT said...

@ Priya - ab tere ko kya kahun... will call ya up and let u know whats up around okies!
abhi k liye...

PULKIT said...

@ param and ekam - I MISS UR COMMENTS!!?