Way Back into Love

(i)
Seeping within
is a chaos,
where proportionality
is ruled by love
and
reasons are lost
long back!!

(ii)
Upthrust of
what I see at nights
recalling revisiting reshaping..
waiting for revival,
struggling for survival,
passing on..
eyelashes.

(iii)
A butterfly
with beauty of mass proportions
chirping its lullaby,
gazing from its twinkles,
makes me fall in love
with her
again and again.
Her presence stays
long after she goes.
Till the time,
she comes again

(iv)
That is what gives..
A reason to sleep
A reason to wake!

****************************



Katron mein batkar
bikhartey se lamhey
saanson mein mehakti..
shaam ki khushbu"
Khamoshi ka daaman :)
lavzon ki nami*

Maathey pe saji,
tere honthon ki mehak...
bistar pe padey,
tere tutey baal...
phir puch rahey hain
Mujhse sawaal...
aur...
Laut raha hai phir
tera hi khayal!

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PS - Too much of blah blah about L-O-V-E lately on my end here at PCIP. I guess there are more then one reasons for penning these down...anyways, I am not able to write long stories for my blog for a couple of reasons(which some of you love to read :) ). I need more time for doing so, which I am not able to chalk down from my very verrrrrry Busy schedule these days and It might continue the same way till the end of year :( :( I know I know!! But what to do yaar...engineering ki padhai hai hi aisi, there is always a test in every 72 hours or something and My F**k college sucks big time...there I go again! Ssssh! well I am sorry for being irregular at my blog as well as in the comment boxes of the blogs that I follow :( But I want to mention that... I am quite regular on facebook these days and also enjoy microblogging at twitter alongside through my cellphone at times, Keep Updated with my stuff there if ya feel like :) and I am also happy with the completion of 90 posts and 2000 comments mark for my blog :) Now I have to wonder in what direction I should go ahead... ;) winks! take care. god bless. Love ya all. Thanks for the read...

PPS - ah! she loves this song..." All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!"

Mushy random Scribbles

DISCLAIMER - Not A Work Of Fiction! Inspired by the heart that beats within me and cries for your care, every single breath of my life...


Ek aag si tapish,
ek ruh sa sukoon,
Iqraar ki kashish...
Milan ka junoon!

Waqt ruk gaya usi pal
aapka jo deedaar hua!!
aapke husn ki roshni mein jagmag,
mera suna sansaar hua!!
Daastaan apni sunani toh thi unhe
par jaane kyun aaj phir khamosh reh gaye?
Apni hi dhuno ko alwaaz na miley!
taqdeer ko kismat k saath na miley!!
Ya shayad unki aakhon ki gehrayi ne..
aur unki palkhon ki masumiyat ne...
Humein phir sab kuch bhula diya!!
soch mein dubey hain,
sawalon ki mehak se madhosh,
mazilon k mayane har pal badal rahe hain,
Humsafar hai jo chalne ka naam nahi leta...!!
ye kaisa mod hai?
ye kaisi mulaqat hai?
na saath ki khushi; na judai ka gum.
.
.
bas ek khamoshi humare aansuon pe hassti si
bas ek lehar humare ishaaron pe masti si
bas ek lamha har aarzo mein thamta sa
bas ek khwaab humari palkhon pe jamta sa
bas ek pal har saans mein bikhra sa
bas ek phool humare honthon pe nikhra sa
bas ek ladki thodi pagal si
bas ek ladka thoda pagal sa!

******************



Don't stare at me
with a question in your eyes
I have no answer
I need you... I love u... I miss u... and thats all I really know!
One day I will rule over you
Just the way you have tamed my senses!

%%%%%%%%%%%%


Ek waqt aisa aayega...
jab...
.
.
Is kadar meri yaad tumhe satayegi...
bechaini khumaar bankar tumpar chayegi
sochte rehna tab ki tumhara humdun kahan hai
koi kahega tumse ki woh khush hai jahan hai
Tab tut k rotey rehna apni tanhaiyon mein
phir yaad karke is pyaare se dost ko!

***********************

PS - Pain is the strongest aspect of love. Its beauty lies in its cause and reasons...which are understandable, solely to your own soul! There are too many questions that My heart asks to itself and there are a too many answers that it gets from within its own self. are you Confused reading this ??? Imagine... what I go through! Love at times...make you feel so so trapped! But Who wants to get free anyways. winks!

PPS - milke bhi, hum na mile.Tumse na jaane kyun, milo ke,Hai phasle tumse na jaane kyun
Anjaane, hai silsile.. Tum se na jaane kyun, sapne hai.Palko tale tum se na jaane kyunnnnnn…

Kaise batayein Kyun tujhko chahe Yaara bata na paayein....Baatein dil o ki
Dekho jo baki Aake tujhe samjhaein Tu jaane na aaaa..Tu jaane na

CATCH THE AMAZING VIDEO OF THIS SONG HERE .Its Worth it!

Legacy - Famous Last Words

Mere Jaane K baad Mera Gum na Karna
Main jeena aur chahta tha
Kabhi Tumhare Gum ne, Kabhi tumhari Khushiyon ne
Mujhe pal pal Tadpaake Maar diya

Jab Main Nahi Rahunga
Tab meri Baatein Rahengi
Jise Tumne Sun K Bhi Unsuna Kar diya
Wahi saare Kisse, woh Phir se Kahengi!

*************************************************




Its been a long time
since I last slept
As for long back as I can remember
I laid on my bed and just wept

The shallow of My eyes
Churning in midst from dreams and Nightmares
Seeing Myself Working hard to move up
A sudden visualization of falling down from stairs

Vision of a master
My Heart is a curse
In whose Pains
These nights submerse!

I might have been in burial
Of My own deceptions
But words of mine will beckon
Above your critical perceptions

Oh! witness of worlds I promise
That A day will come
Whose Dreams I had sore
Inspired from blissful some!

From My muscled confessions
There will emerge some waves
That would conquer your soul
Your oceans and Your caves

I speak the language Of Truths
Of Thy lights Divine
One day from darkness
This Dead poet Will shine!

(Written on 8 july - Posted on 19 july : same state)

With This post I end the Trilogy( of late night poems) as well as announce A Break! My legacy would stay here all this while... When will I be back? 15 days ... 15 hours or 15 months? I Dont really know! I just waana run away, cry for some what like hours and hours and then come back! I am changing home too, and I am in no haste to take net connection, Lets see what all happens. I will keep answering the comments whenever possible in the meantime from some cyber cafe or something!
Most of the nights, whatever I wrote ...positive,negative...personal or fiction... there had been one thing common! that is the element of sadness and I cant really have been able to get away from it. Its still present, right here with me.... In my choaked voice and In My teary eyes!


P.S. - Speechless!
P.P.S. - " Mere Khwabon ka, Har ek naksh , Mita de koi... Sukhey paton ka bhara dher jala de koi"

Scribbles of My heart - 4 ( Alfaaz - 6 I will always love you)

I realize how much I had always loved you...
I realize how Much I still love you....
I realize how Much I will Always love you...
I cry I weep in the silence of my tears,
Cos U will never understand anything!

I stare out from that window...
To amuse the beauty of nature,
I weep to see how much I am lost...
Deep within the truths of my own stature!


******************************************************





Raat ki shama hai tere sazde mein saji,
asfaano k hain alfaaz magar gum se kahin!
khoyi si is manzil ka meri...
Ek humsafar bas tu hi to tha shayad !!

jin deewaron k sahare tiktey they hum kabhi,
aaj unko bhi aapne gira diya hai !
us phool ki mehak toh gum pehle si hi thi,
fir usko masalne se aapko kya mil gaya?


Us khidki k nazaare...
hua karte they kabhi haseen.
woh baarish ki boondein...
woh mast hawaon ki lehar...

Aaj uske kaanch bikhre hain !!
zameen par yahin kahin tut kar !!
woh na khulti hai aur na band hoti hai...
betuki si bas ek saza sehti hai :(

Us se aati hai garmi ki loo,
dhoop ki jalaane waali tapish,,
Itni garam ki ek jala hua dil...
phir bhun jaata hai us aag mein !!

Jin baaton se sukoon ki
do chaar saansein milti thi
ab toh unka bhi ...
namunishaa nahi hai !

mausam they woh kya madhoshi ke,
bina dastak diye phir kahan se aayi,
Is pathjhad si ye batameez aandhi !!
mere mann ko kuch aur jhik jhodta ye nazara...

gire huye patte aur ukhdi si dhool !!
bikhra sa paani aur sehmey se dare phool !!
Unki masoomiyat hai khafa si aaj ,
Phir cheekh rahi unki khoyi talaash !!
Phir choda hai kismat ne unka bhi saath!!

Phir suna sa hai mera jahaan...
Phir nafrat si hoti hai jeene mein...
Phir badnaseeb se hain hum...
Ki koi dard ka aalum na jaan paya seene mein !!

fiza se gum si ho gayi hai,
woh natkhat si shaitaani.
par kuch khoya toh nahi hai khaas,
apni tizoriyon mein se !!
Phir kyun aisa lagta hai...
Ki shayad mujh mein se hi,
mera sab kuch ...
Koi chura k le gaya!

********************************************

Hey dear - I still love you
may be we can work on it
PLEASE DONT GO!!

P.S. - Look I know its kind of still not very bright post... But U dont come out of darkness all at ones. right? !No!! okays , then you may be different, But I am different too in my own senses... I remain in similar thought about 20 days a month! good for my health and life or not I dont know and I dont wanna know too! This one is litrary so judge by the feeling, and plus its not conclusive! Its just another poetry after a couple of prose By me! I hate this question... How is life? My life revolves around a lot many things and even though I have great days in all, I somehow finds reasons to moan at nights and somehow those reasons come from a person with whom I desire to spend the happiest moments!! anyways! leave all that and criticize my hindi works, I know I am rather bad at them! Ur opinions of all sorts are welcome :)

P.P.S. - "Humein tumse pyaar Kitna, Ye hum nahi jaante... Magar jee nahi sakte Tumhare bina! Suna Gum judai ka, uthate hain log, jaane zindagi kaise... bitate hain log, Din bhi yahan toh lagey... baras ke samaan ; Humein Intezaar kitna, ye hum nahi jaante.... MAGAR JEE NAHI SAKTE TUMHARE BINA!!"

BY THE WAY, I SANG THE SONG IN P.P.S. IN MY INTRO AT COLLEGE AND YEAH IF U GET TIME ... READ MY SECOND GUEST POST here

Unbearable Nights (Alfaaz - 5)

Kitni baar kaha tha ki inta pyaar mat dena
Ki uske nashe mein jeene Ki Aadat si ho jaye
ab phir paimaane huye hain khaali
ab phir ruh ko hai teri mohabbat ki hai jarurat
par tum nahi ho! Tum kahin nahi ho!!

Phir Neend nahi aa rahi hai
Phir raat guzarti jaa rahi hai...
tere baare mein sochte hi
Phir aankh dubduba rahi hai...

na tu mujhse dur gayi hai
na maine tujhe khoya hai
par teri kuch din ki judai se hi
Phir dil mera roya hai...

Kitni baar kaha tha ki khud mein itna mat samaane dena
Ki main apni shaqsiyat ke wajood ko mita dun
Ab phir bewajah ki udaasi mein doob rahi hai meri jaan
ab phir saanson ko hai teri mahek ki talab
par tum nahi ho! Tum kahin nahin ho!!

*********************************************

pyaar – ek nasha sa!
Ruh – ek dawa sa!

Gum – ek adat hai!
Ilaaz – ek deedaar hai!

Intezaar – ek awaaz ka!
Sahara – ek raaz ka!

Mohabbat – ek naam se!
Shayari – ek shaam se!

Umeed – ek paighaam ki!
jarurat – ek saath ki!

***

main – ek unsuljha sawaal hun!
Tum – uska ek maatr jawaab ho!

( PS - Thats the first one of the 3 post series of DARK posts On Love here @ My blog . bookish, and orthodox overemotional aspect of love and Human nature in Life is covered here, Pain and agony adding to the glory and a fire whose heat one enjoys while burning! More to come.. stay tuned! )

( PPS - Hongey Kabhi Hum Juda, Maine ye socha na tha... ye sitam, Tu bata Kyun Hua? Jiya na jaaye... tere bin saathiya! Yaadon mein tu hai, Raat din saathiya)

अल्फाज़ -4(scribbles of the heart -3 = I am incomplete without you)

(You complete My Thoughts)
(tere bina mere alwaaz adhoore hain)

sawaalon k is bhawandar ko ab kaise jhelun
ek jawaab dena hota toh main sochta bhi...
sailaab sa utha tha armaano ka dil mein
ek lehar ko rokna hota toh main sochta bhi...

dil se nikalte har ehsaas ki kasam
bas dhudha tujhe jahan gaye kadam
na waqt ka taqaaza, na zamane ki fikar
bas tere hi didaar ko har lamha tarsi nazar!

kya jism ki hai tapish aur
kya bandishon ka kehar
kya rooh ki majboori aur
kya saanson ki lehar

aaj dastaan hai hazaar sunane ko
par khamoshiyon ka hi aalam hawaon mein hai
Unchahe khwaab hain laakhon baatne ko
par zhakhmo ka hi aalam dawaon mein hai

is shab ki sazish se ajnabi nahi hai ye andhera
par iski bandishon k upar haavi hai meri rooh ka sawera
alwaazon mein kho k unhe bhoolna hi swabhaav hai mera
meri adhoori kavitaon ko poora karna hi bas kaam hai tera!

Aaj gungunane ko hain nagme hazaar
ek saaz bhi saath hota toh main sochta bhi
adhoori baat ko khatam karna akele mumkin nahi
ek aapka saath hota toh main sochta bhi....

***********************************************

I was sitting idle when I thought of you
I was doing work when I thought of you
I was driving when I thought of you
I was crying when I thought of you
I was afraid when I thought of you
I was smiling when I thought of you

I was Incomplete when I thought of you
Your thought made me complete!
Without your thoughts, my words never make sense!

******************

(Ps - tu jo nahi hai toh kuch bhi nahi hai... ye mana ki mehfil jawaan hai hanseen hai )
Transfer season is here...shifting home soon! I am a person who moves on really slowly! sadness is dwelling fast upon me... I wish you were here to complete my thoughts in a full circle! Miss you more then words! I need you!

Scribbles of the heart - 2 (Reply to her Insecure fears of heart)

(Me and You)

Teri udaasi ko cheer kar
Tujhe hasaane ko ji chahta hai

Yun dari hui teri aankhon mein
khauff ka hai jo aalam...
usko apne pyaar ki sargoshi se
mitane ko ji chahta hai !!

masoom se us chehre pe
phir se muskaan ki madhoshi
aur bachkaani si teri hansi
K deedaar ko ji chahta hai !!

isse pehle ki main tujhe apni
bahon mein mahfooz kar lun
tu apni aankhon se aansuon
ko khud hi poch lena!

Isse pehle ki main tere dil
k har saaz ko apni
dhuno k sangeet se bhar dun
tu apne geet khud soch lena!


Main tera tha,Main tera hun aur rahunga
tere maathe ko choom ke
aur tere bikhre baalon ko sahej kar
ye batane ko ji chahta hai

teri udaasi ko cheer kar
tujhe hasane ko ji chahta hai !!

****************************************************

Your eyes – sensuous and mesmerizing
I stare!
Your skin – soft and glow
I Observe!
Your touch – smooth and caring
I feel!
Your voice – cute and cheerful
I rejoice!
Your hairs – long and Intoxicating
I celebrate!
Your Mind – innocent and Kiddish
I love!
Your body - perfect and tempting
I dream!
Your talks – convincing and supporting
I appreciate!
Your ears – credential and friendly
I rely!
Your hands – compassionate and warm
I hold!
Your feet – babyish and tender
I kiss!
Your soul – honest and pure
I desire!

**********************************************

I love you a lot and there is no reason for you to cry! You Love me too, That I know, We will fight the world and Our Love will win, Trust me !!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Not a work of fiction! Inspired by the teary eyes of the most beautiful girl in this worl! The only prayer I have on my lips this very moment is a wish that she gets her smile back , and may I be the reason for its return again :)
(Ps - 50th post coming up next! )

अल्फाज़ - 2 (Chandni Raatein)

(English Script)

Tu pass hai toh is raat ki chandni mein roshani hai
har sitara hai roshan har chirag mein loah thami hai!
Jo tu nahi saath toh chandni ka aksh bhi dhundla hai
Har sitara hai madham har chirag ke pass andhiyara hai!

Jin ishaaron pe jugnuaon se aati thi hansi is chehre pe
unhi ko dekh ke dukh se dub dubati hai ab aankhein
har aanso ke peehche bhi ek yaad ka kasoor hai
us yaad ke saath bhi juda tera aur sirf tera hi noor hai!

Phir aanson ke baad laut ti hai muskaan is chehre par
ek masoom se khwab ne akhir diya sahara hai
us khwab mein bhi tere hi saath ka nazara hai
Jagmagati chandni hai aur phir roshan har sitara hai!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Hindi alfaaz)

तू पास है तोह इस रात की चांदनी में रोशनी है
हर सितारा है रोशन हर चिराग में लोः थमी है!
जो तू नहीं साथ तोह चांदनी का अक्ष भी धुन्दला है
हर सितारा है मद्धम हर चिराग के पास अँधियारा है!

जिन इशारों पे जुगनुओं सी आती थी हंसी इस चेहरे पे
उन्ही को देख के दुःख से डूब डूबती है अब आँखें
हर आंसू के पीह्चे भी एक याद का कसूर है
उस याद के साथ भी जुड़ा तेरा और सिर्फ तेरा ही नूर है!

फिर आंसुओं के बाद लौट टी है मुस्कान इस चेहरे पर
एक मासूम से ख्वाब ने आखिर दिया सहारा है
उस ख्वाब में भी तेरे ही साथ का नज़ारा है
जगमगाती चांदनी है और फिर रोशन हर सितारा है!

******************************************************

(My second attempt at hindi poetry here @ PCIP ( Poetic cries of interpersonal expressions... and carrying on with the same theme around which my life dwells these days... that is lonely nights)

Dont ever leave me.... please! Beg u....

(IMAGE SOURCE)

अल्फाज़!! ... ( एक नई शुरुआत..)

पिछली रात की वोह रूहानी कशिश...
तेरे जिस्म में मेरी साँसों की वो लहर!
खिड़कियों से जर - जर बरसता...
कुदरत की उन बूंदों का वो कहर!

******************************************

(PS - A new start .... my very first post here at poetic cries .... In a language that I almost never liked when I was in school... No not sanskrit, I Hated it... here I have mentioned the word "never like"....

But then again in life .... you never know when this "never" ends out of sudden.... :) Uncertainty & exploration in new avenues is what makes it worth living!