Legacy - Famous Last Words

Mere Jaane K baad Mera Gum na Karna
Main jeena aur chahta tha
Kabhi Tumhare Gum ne, Kabhi tumhari Khushiyon ne
Mujhe pal pal Tadpaake Maar diya

Jab Main Nahi Rahunga
Tab meri Baatein Rahengi
Jise Tumne Sun K Bhi Unsuna Kar diya
Wahi saare Kisse, woh Phir se Kahengi!

*************************************************




Its been a long time
since I last slept
As for long back as I can remember
I laid on my bed and just wept

The shallow of My eyes
Churning in midst from dreams and Nightmares
Seeing Myself Working hard to move up
A sudden visualization of falling down from stairs

Vision of a master
My Heart is a curse
In whose Pains
These nights submerse!

I might have been in burial
Of My own deceptions
But words of mine will beckon
Above your critical perceptions

Oh! witness of worlds I promise
That A day will come
Whose Dreams I had sore
Inspired from blissful some!

From My muscled confessions
There will emerge some waves
That would conquer your soul
Your oceans and Your caves

I speak the language Of Truths
Of Thy lights Divine
One day from darkness
This Dead poet Will shine!

(Written on 8 july - Posted on 19 july : same state)

With This post I end the Trilogy( of late night poems) as well as announce A Break! My legacy would stay here all this while... When will I be back? 15 days ... 15 hours or 15 months? I Dont really know! I just waana run away, cry for some what like hours and hours and then come back! I am changing home too, and I am in no haste to take net connection, Lets see what all happens. I will keep answering the comments whenever possible in the meantime from some cyber cafe or something!
Most of the nights, whatever I wrote ...positive,negative...personal or fiction... there had been one thing common! that is the element of sadness and I cant really have been able to get away from it. Its still present, right here with me.... In my choaked voice and In My teary eyes!


P.S. - Speechless!
P.P.S. - " Mere Khwabon ka, Har ek naksh , Mita de koi... Sukhey paton ka bhara dher jala de koi"

Self - Deception

(i)

She stared at me with glint
an absconding pause
A never ending jest

I looked calm to the surface
Overcoming The Nostalgia
Deep within my veins

Yet another Night passed By
Demurred and passive
For the wait Of
My judgmental conclusions!

(ii)

At last of all I spoke
to The eager heart of mine
Suffering in his own helplessness

Confusing and shocking
My verdict came
Ditched again by My own consciousness

A reason to be truthful
I never found
A reason to deceive
I always had one!

( P.S. - Looking back at life, The years Gone by... The memories that lay... The decisions thats been made...time and again... AND The series of mistakes commited in every choice!
Looking ahead... I see a future down in shit... Seems as if I have been decieved badly, By someone I knew a bit...By someone like me! I wish My head and heart were friends. I wish they haven't been liars to each other...cos In the end I was the one who suffered)

(P.P.S. - Kalleyan gujara ni main raata kaliyan, Dang diya mainu ruta pyaar waliyan... tere baajo ji ni lagda, main tey mar gayi taan... Aaaja soniya, Ghar aaja soniya! )

Bedside Thought

There is dwelling
In this moment of mist
with some pondering
on my silly dreams list

I lay back aside
Into The shadow shaping
coming Of this gizmo's light
and some mindless aiming

It all started from Nothing
and It all has ended so soon
sooner than I thought it to be
Into a Big Empty subtle balloon

Hasratein hain hazaar
Sataane k liye

Gum hain hazaar
Rulane k liye...

Andhere ki is chamak mein laga hai
Mere Tute sapno ka bazaar
sajaane k liye...

aur kuch aadhey Likhey alwaaz
pade hain Bistar k kinaare
meri ruaasi si aankhon ko puri raat

Jagaane k liye...

**********************************************

( P.S. - With This post I start a series of poetries on My blog... A series that Highlights The aspect of My persona of a Night Crawler! I stayed Online till 2 in the morning most of the nights from Mid June onwards... after 2 a.m. when I logged off... I wrote these three poems(in 3 nights somewhere in between these days, when I was publishing my stories) !! which I would now be sharing with ya all! 'Bedside thought' is the first one amongst them.
Across the years as I grew Up I completely have forgotten the existence of a proper night sleep...I mostly close my eyes at early morning to have a snap! some of my nights over the past few weeks have been utterly painful as always, and forgive me If I do highlight the negativity of those in my verses but I assure you that There is a hidden optimism in between the words... try to gid that out if you can! )

(P.P.S - chaandni Raatein... Sab jag soye... Hum jaagein... Taaron se kare baatein)

Dew For Flowers,Honey For bee... Love and care..for U and Me!

“You brought this ring for me?”... The birthday girl said, Thrilled!....

"Really?????????"... her eyes were shining from behind her glasses! Dhanya was happy to the core!

“yeah! I wanted to give you something special...I am your best friend after all.” Shiva replied with a jolt of happiness!

“Oh yes... that you are! Thanks a ton yaar.. this is... my god! Beautiful!.”. She said with a smile!

“I am glad that you liked it... I was so nervous while buying it for you, pata?”. He continued...

“Haan haan ... pata hai! But matlab bhi pata hai ek ladki ko ring dene ka?”. She giggled.

Shiva was “....kya???”

“Kuch nahi buddhu... waise bhi tum bilkul pagal ho!”( They were 11 years old, GOSH! Look at them talk!)... she was smiling, one can easily see the beautiful birthday girl enjoying a lot..

Music was playing in the background and the two best friends joined other kids on the dance floor. Center table of the drawing room was removed from its place and the carpet there , red and white in color... captures the kids imagination, and all the kids of the party were using it as a dance floor.

They both were dancing as a pair... when Dhanya asked...

“ye Kitni ki hai Shiva? Itna expensive gift dene Ki kya jarurat thi? “

“one three zero zero”... he whispered in her ears very softly, His Mom has taught her at home not to disclose the prize of gifts to those whom we give. Its Bad manners. He wanted to avoid her seeing him telling Dhanya the worth of her Birthday Gift.

He remembered the incident when he told Mr Gupta that their 50^th anniversary gift was a 30 rupees worth flask, purchased from the Thela vendor that came in their colony last week when Mr Gupta asked his father during the function ” Ye Itna Bada gift laane ki kya jarurat thi?”,

Poor Shiva wanted to remove the over grateful guilt from the eye lashes of over friendly Mr Gupta on seeing the big box in which that gift was packed so he cleared the matter then and there with promptness. He remembered being slapped in the car from his father immediately after that party.... A sudden itch came on his forehead. He scratched his head hard and tried to concentrate here.

“KYA????? !!” Dhanya asked... with a shock of joy!

“1300 rupey ki...???? really?????” She continued with a thrill bigger then ever. She was so so happy.

“No! You got me wrong...” replied back Shiva, All confused.

“then... ??? Hmm... I heard one three zero something...Hmm... 130 rupees??? she further queried, she thought she over heard a zero or something.

“No! Actually... I said... One three dot zero zero was there on the price slip” He replied back in typical Good Bacha style.

“Kyaaaaaaa?, teyraah (13) rupay ki hai ye... bas!” she said... her mouth opened in shock again for some reason which she dint knew... she closed it immediately and smiled again to make Shiva feel that she is still happy. She was not.

“Haan! Kyun Kya hua?” . The innocent Shiva asked.

“kuch nahi... Huh!!”. She replied. The beautiful eyes, now poking with hidden anger... to spark it more.. Shiva said...

“Tumhe dance karna nahi aata... pata!”

“Tumhe bada aata hai???...Huh!” she furiously answered back.

“See... one leg to the right and two back then..(he stood on her feet twice ... Ouch!! and dint even noticed it... can you Imagine?) And why the hell are you pushing my hand away from your waist again and again... its a dance posture Dumbo”

“Get lost! M done, I don't want to dance with you anymore jerk!”. She was irritated that Shiva was doing all stupid dance himself and teaching her moreover as if she was dumb. The birthday princess left the floor and sat on the chair with her favorite Thumps Up glass in her hand. “What an Idiot he is, stupid!”she thought.

“Hey soniya... you dress is so pretty! Can we dance?”, The friendly Shiva asked her cousin.

“sure! You too are looking cute pata!”, she replied. She was their one year senior in school and also Dhanya's cousin, beautiful... looking gorgeous like a little angel in her black skirt.

The song changed ... “Every Night In my dreams... I see you, I feel you... That is how I know you.. go on!”

They came closer and danced like ball dancers, They Looked Like Kajol and Shahrukh In Suraj Hua Madham... Dhanya was staring at them from the corner. She was surrounded by all her classmates who were having fun with her. She was smiling but for some reason, the little Dhanya felt something green and hot within her veins... Anger ignited by jealousy was mounting on her for some reason. Gosh! This Soniya... Bitch! She is wearing such a cheap short skirt... looking cheap and that Bloody Shiva ...Huh! I never wanted to invite her... Huh! Bloody shiva I will kill him tomorrow in school... Huh! She thought.

She looked at the ring in her smallest finger. It was beautiful. She looked at them. They were beautiful. She was about to cry but she did something else. She stood up and started running out towards the garden.

Clouds were dark outside above. She looked up and wanted to cry badly for some reason which she Dint knew. She was so innocent and beautiful. Lightning was roaring and she was feeling alone... very lonely.

“Dhanu???... Tum yahan kya kar rahi ho?” asked a voice from behind that she remembered very well.

“Tumse matlab? Huh! Go and dance with that bitch!” ... her voice was breaking. She dint knew why?

“Soniya didi is calling you inside to cut your Birthday cake!”

“Didi my foot... I never call her didi... “ she grumbled.

“ But I have always done... “ Shiva replied.

She smiled!

“Chalo Hansi toh aayi... chehre pe”

he knew it, why she was sad and breaking.

“Shiva You bastard... I will kill you one day.” she said in a very loud voice... crunching her tender teeth!

“Do it tomorrow... it will be so stupid for me to watch from heaven that you are celebrating your Birthday and My death day together”

she Hit him hard on the stomach with a punch!

He was like...”Aaah!”

“Do baar pair pe chadte ho aur dance karna sikhate ho...haan! Aaj k baad agar kisi aur k saath dance kiya na...toh samajh lena tum”

she tried to run, he held her hand. He smiled. And plucked a flower nearby and held her hand....

“Ye le lo... its your birthday gift too... see I am so good ...I gave you two gifts, I am sure nobody has spend so much on you today”. He giggled.

She winked and smiled. They looked up to the roaring sky. They were best friends.

“Koi ladki hai... jab woh hasti hai...baarish hoti hai ...ghumad ghumad ghum ghum” He sang looking at her.

A few droplets from heaven kissed their faces and she smiled with a mouth wide open! She was beautiful. He cared for her like hell.

“Chak dhum dhum chak ...dhum dhum chak... dhum dhum chak” she said... and danced a bit moving her hands here and there.

“Ab cake kaat lein?... Bhookh lagi hai” he said and she smiled. Hand in hand like always they both walked, Jumping and hopping... and went inside.

( P.S. - Its Only words and words are all I have to take your heart away...I am happy to have a positive response for my last story! Hope you would like this one too... Its meaningless and stupid but the protagonists are 11 year olds... Mind it !! )

(P.P.S. - Tumse Yun Milengey... Humne socha na tha... Aur Ye Zindagi... Mehakegi Tumhari Baanhon mein....)

May Be I Still Feel Something For You... - 3

How Many Times Have You ever Thought About your School Crush?Have You ever been late in telling some Girl Or boy That You thought about her in a special way? Are Those whom we have a crush In school Be considered Our First Love? Well...May be Not! But what About someone Who had not thought about any Other Girl Ever...ever since He left her In school? What if He meets Her again?

************************

Raj was staring at the envelope he had just received from The post box out side his home on his way to office. He was thinking about the girl whom it was addressed from...In a few moments, He was back in memory lane again!

******************

The last working day of the session was over about half an hour back. Raj was on court after school as always, Riverdale Boarding school In Doon valley had prob

ably the best Basketball team in the region and much of its credit goes to the presence of his brilliant skills. He was very good looking, wearing a wet vest and practicing moves and shoots as always, 6 feet tall, deep black eyes, Uncombed yet silky hairs covering the droplets of sweat on his forehead!

“Raj !!!!!!!!! “ A polite voice disturbed him from behind! He turned back to look who was there.

It was “Ashrita”, The class topper, hairs falling from from the sides of her both ears and a pony tail at the back, blue eyes and beautiful eyebrows and chin, she was a girl that full of innocence on her face, a baby smile, a reserved nature. Not many people were close to her, she had limited friends and an academic record of sheer bril

liance, the class topper.

“Hi... so still practicing???” she asked.

“Yeah Kind off!”,”school kab Khatam Ho Gaya, pata hi nahi chala... I will miss this court to the core”... he said in a tone, full of significance and nostalgia, School days were over!

“I will miss you on this court...” she whispered!

“kya?”, he was not able to hear what she said.

“Kuch nahi...” she replied!

“Ok! then Raj, I just came to bid you a final good bye as I might not come back to take the annual reports and certificates personally. I am Moving to states for further studies”

“That sounds cool... “ replied Raj, but his tone was dull and low this time!

“This is for you!”. She gave her a piece of paper and ran away with some very fast steps outside the court and then soon out of campus!

It was like something muscled badly... it opened it and...

“dear Raj!

I am sorry if I ever Hurt you with any of my behavior, Nobody liked me...the way I had been in school always. In the books and nowhere else I made friends. I want to let you know before Leaving that I would not like to leave before I tell yo

u that... I was the one who called you up from different numbers in last three years, All those missed calls and anonymous messages, All those unnamed cards in your bag, all those message chits in the locker room... all that! It was from me. I wanted to let you know that I had admired you always, as a very good human being. I always wished I had a friend like you... who can really make me smile, take care of me...love me! I don't know why I am saying all this...please Galat mat samajhna yaar! And life mein hamesha...my prayers are with you!

"humko Mili Hain Aaj Yeh Ghadiyaan Naseeb Se
jee Bhar Ke Dekh Lijiye Humko Qareeb Se
phir Aapke Naseeb Mein Yeh Baat Ho Na Ho
shaayad Phir Is Janam Mein Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
lag Jaa Gale Ki Phir Yeh Haseen Raat Ho Na Ho"

Yours

Ashrita!

The girl who never use to talk to anyone have written this? Why? Did she like me TOO? Just like I had been staring her all these years in library...had she been looking at me playing too ?

MY GOD!! he ran hard towards the main gate. The school premises was silent and corridors were lonely. She was gone! Gone forever to U.S. He had missed the opportunity to say what he wanted. The opportunity to let her know what he had felt for her for all these years. The opportunity to reply to her that all these years he never replied to that unknown well wisher's messages cos he wished that those messages were from her and never wanted to be in touch with any other girl on phone. In school he had many friends, but at hostel bed, in those sleepless nights, all she ever dreamt about was 'Ashrita'!

He realized that he might never see her beautiful face again, I am a dumb ass! He thought to himself.

He was deep in thoughts... unsure about what this paper meant, unsure about if she loved her or something but sure about this, for the first time, that he was in love with her! He started missing her that very moment and that feeling of missing never left him.

Years passed by and he kept on searching for her on orkut and facebook in his college years, but never found her.

*********************

“I have told you a million times mom that I don't wanna meet her”, Raj said in a loud tone!!

“shhhh! beta...woh log baithey hain!, and woh tumhare chachaji k friend hain...unki beti se bas milne mein harz kya hai?”, she said...in whispering tone!

A couple of minutes later.. Raj along with his mother entered the drawing room!

Beta.. ye hai “Ashrita! She came from states last year after completing her graduation”

IT WAS HER! RAJ WAS NUMB! Dressed in a white and yellow Suit, with a traditional Bindi on her forhead, her hairs were not copper brown as they use to be that time... they were black, long and beautiful. She was the same. Beautiful!

“Beta... go and sit with Ash in the garden and you both please be comfortable”... said the parents of Ash in an over friendly way! He loved them for being so nice.

Garden was full of beautiful flowers and in this sunny day they were looking more beautiful then ever. A jhoola was there in the center and they sat on it.

“Hi Ash! I dint knew that It was you”

“Me too! I am happy to see you! She replied with a smile.

GOSH!! SHE WAS TOO TOO BEAUTIFUL... her smile you see, flowers there seems to have been jealous of her, she thought!

“You remember...You were a geek in school, so bookish!”

she giggled and said nothing.. she was quiet and seemed a bit restless about something.

“Hey Ash! You are ok na?” he said! He noticed something like sadness in her beautiful eyes.

“Look Raj! I want you to say No! To whatever is going on Inside”

...... he was silent

“I love someone else and want to marry him”

he was “........”

“I don't know how to tell this to parents, cos he is not settled in life, we both are not ready for marriage.

He was “.......”

They stood up!

Came inside. “Haan Ji bachon.. Kaisa laga baat karke ek dusre se?” asked His father!

“papa I am not ready for marriage at this point of time, and not in near future too! I want to work hard for a couple of years more and then perhaps look at the aspect of taking someone's responsibility”

Her parents smiled! They were really good human beings.”arrey Ma Baap toh sochte hi hain... par Zamana change ho gaya hai gupta ji, Hai nahi? Aaj Kal bache bahut ambitious hain career k liye” Her mom said! She was angel just like her. They were the In Laws, of the type that raj always wanted...she was the girl of the type Raj always wanted! Anyways... they left!

*********************

He wiped a tear rolling our from his eye and looked at the envelope kept on the table. He opened it with the help of a scale and...

“dear Raj,

I am so thankful to you for helping that day at your home, for being my friend for the next two years, always mailing me and supporting me, always advising me what to do and how to do, finally our joint prayers for my happiness have worked. I will be marrying him next month in U.S. Itself, I have sent you the invitation card along with this letter, k! Will be looking forward to see you in marriage...aana jarur, apne best friend k bina I wont marry him ok!”

He kept the letter down and smiled! He was very happy for her.

The beautiful Ritika, his colleague was staring at her from the next table. Just like she had been doing for two years continuously in office. Her best friend in office as she thought her to be. She was gorgeous, she knocked his table and waked him up from the memory lane he was in! “Raj!!!!!! Kahan ho?”

“kahin nahi....”

She kept a muscled piece of paper on his table and said “Isse padh lena..jab free ho!”.it was Pink colored and sweet fragrance was coming from the paper

She smiled and left!

He was “........”. Then...

He read it and smiled!

Life and Love are so strange . He thought :) :D

(P.S. - aaaaaah! Another Trilogy has come to an end on my blog here... "May be I Still Feel something for you.." series was... Based ON love stories, that start from very early age(adolesence ot teen age), Shape up as a two sided love at some point and then end with endless memories, most of them appear to be one sided! None of them had a sad ending in eternity...there was something or the other that signified that Life Moved on! I ended June with a trilogy On Dark Depressing Notes and then early July Had this one in the offering :) ) Thanks For the numerous suggestions and comments throughout... Means a lot to me!

(P.P.S. - Chahe Jo Tumhe Poore Dil se... Milta Hai Woh Mushkil Se, Aisa Jo KOI KAHIN HAI, bas Wo Hi Sabse Hasin Hai.. Us haath Ko Tum thaam Lo, Woh Meharbaan, Kal Ho na Ho)

May Be I Still Feel Something For You... - 2

zuuuuuuuuuuup!!

The lift on the second floor of the Mall opened, and he stepped out, He saw her standing right in front of him!!

Their eyes met! And the world around them stopped in their own reference. Silence!

For a moment he was numb, then he managed to speak...

“Hi !!” he said... “Long time! Yahan kya kar rahi ho?”

“Nothing much... was just waiting for someone!”. She replied.

“2 years aah! Long time... Look at you you haven't changed! Still as beautiful as ever!” He said in a weakish soak voice. His eyes shining as if he is trav

eling memory lanes alongside.

“You too have not changed, still as complimenting as ever!” She smiled.

They were always just for you... he thought

just then there was a silence and uncomfortable lull in the air around them!

“Coffee?” He asked!

“Yes.. but rather quickly, I came to mall to go to another friend's place from here on! He will be here to pick me any moment.” she replied

“Okays! Then CCD as always... haan!” He asked with a formal smile.

“No barista would Be Better, I have changed My taste in coffee brand!”, she giggled. For him This sentence came very significantly!

“Okay as You wish mam...” He was happy to be with her, barista or CCD or whatever the place might be!

There was soft music in the coffee house as they made themselves comfortable. The usual high class scent was coming from the leather sofas. Slowly the song started playing from behind “ Jab Koi baat Bigad jaaye , Jab koi Mushkil Padh jaaye... Tum dena saath mera Oh Humnawa!”. Kumar sanu's brilliant vocals faded away as he sipped his Coffee, she was staring at the ground floor to check whether her friend have a

rrived or not! Peeping with a slight raise of her stretched neck, Those innocent eyes, small and cute... she was beautiful indeed! Her black and red dress princess type skirt was complimenting the High heel sandals as perfectly as always.

“What time did You gave him? He asked, words were hard to find to start a conversation!

“He might be here any minute..” she replied.

“ so will He mind seeing you in coffee shop with me or something?”

“No! Thats fine!, so... where have you been all this while?” She asked with a causal smile yet so beautiful.

“Just here, where else...” he sighed.

“what are you doing here in mall by the way...” she queried!

I came to sign some books there on the top floor at book cafe! He blushed with a sense of achievement pointing upwards towards the book shop, a banner outside which read “Meet The Writer”.

She looked there and then right back in his eyes and passed on a smile. A smile of satisfaction and a smile that reflected her purity as always.

“Not bad Mr! So you finally became a novelist! I always knew you would...” she was happy for him!

he closed his eyes and blinked in acceptance and after a pause said...

“I missed you when it released a week back! Wanted to let you know about it first...”

“Oh! its all right... actually I don't stay updated with all these literary stuff,else I myself would have called and congratulated you!”

“Oh yeah!” He sighed... he had been waiting for her one pho

ne call from past 2 years not one week!

“So Mr Author? What else with life....? How is mum and dad?”

You still call my mother, “mum”, she misses you a lot... “shall I dial and make her talk to you?” He asked hopefully!

“No I might not be able to talk properly as Loads of noise here!”

“thats fine,And yeah thats not noise... its a beautiful song, If you remember...” He said pointing a finger to the music speaker

“what???” she asked puzzled.

“I sang this to you once!” dimples of sweet memories came on his face. Dimples she once admired a lot

“Achaa! When???” she was still puzzled... she dint remembered anything it seems!

“Your Birthday two years back!” he replied in a saddish tone

“Oh yeah! You sang something but I dint remembered exactly what it was...” she was honest!

“You dint remembered a lot of things back then also...”

“Oh! please... can we not talk of that right now”. She dint wanted to fight again.

“we haven't ever talked of that actually”, he said and smiled!

A pause of a minute came and then he felt stupid of spoiling her mood, Oh gosh! I met her after two years or something and I started the stupid sarcasm all over again, shit! He thought! I got to make her smile right now only...

“How is your life dear? And you still move your feet when you sit like idiots” he said!

“Oh!! yeah!” She said and smiled... her eyes went in her cheeks as they came out!

Eh! that smile... haven't he missed it every single night in last two years!

Just then he stood from her seat and said...

“Hey ... I got to go! He is here... This is My Card. I work In Dubai.. let me know if you ever come there okays!” Saying this, She dropped her coffee mug on the table bang! and rushed outside the shop.

“Hey do read the book okay! LOVE, LIFE AND CELLPHONE is the title of it! Grab it sometime and mail me you feedback... My ID is still the same!” he said from behind, she turned back and smiled.

“Ok Ok! Bye! Nice meating you, Tc!” She said as her image faded from the moving staircase crowd.

He sat inside That shop again! Peeked from the window... she could see her running towards a tall smart guy who was wearing this Lavish suite! He noticed his own dirty shoes in comparison to his shining polished shoes. Bloooody me!

I should have dressed properly at least today... ahhhhhh! I hate myself!

The guy in the suit kissed her on cheek and they went out arm in arm looking like a very happy couple. Perhaps more then friends! Far far more! Ahhhhhhh! I hate myself ... he said to himself again!

May be I have not moved on a bit...!! he thought as he sipped back his coffee which was not hot anymore!

Just then a little girl came running to him and said... “I missed your autograph, I was late for the book signing!”. She said and stood right next to him holding the book and the glitter pen.

Not a problem sweety! Give it to me ...I will sign it right away! He replied with a awww!

He peeked in the first page, took the marker from her and signed it!

He stared at the first page... “dedicated to the endless night phone calls and messages to her”

He opened the last page! It was Epilogue...

which said On the last para of it...

“ I want to thank you for coming in my life and teaching me how to love.

For the endless mistakes I made and for the countless times you forgave me for them!

I might have never wrote this book as well as the 100 poems of my blog, Had I not been in deep deep love with your small eyes, Your red and black dress, Your way of loving me, Your way of moving that leg of yours every time you sat, Your way of putting your lower lip beneath your teeth and telling me with a smile how much you loved me!

I still miss you and I still apologize for that one terrible night when I shouted on you! Forgive me and please come back... Else I might never write a book again”

a tear rolled from his eye!

“I am sorry bhaiya... said that little 8 year old cute girl”

“For what” he asked ... sitting on her knees to make eye contact with that sweetu!

“cos I wazz late.. and made you sign thish late and made you cry alsho”

“AWWWW! He said.. and smiled”

Thanks for the autograph Bhaiya... she said and smiled back!

These kids na! They talk way maturely then their age these days!!!

She too ran out in tip toe, playing types, jumping hopping steps!!!

He again peeped at the door of the mall downwards... there was no one he recognized there.

He took the last sip of his coffee and wished that someday she reads this book or perhaps its rather too late now, and just then... the very next moment he wished he had a little sister like the cute girl whom he just met!

He haven't changed at all. he thought !!

( P.S. - Eyes are Blind, You have to see With Your Heart cos Most beautiful Things are Invisible)
(P.P.S - Dhalne lagi hai raat ..koi baat kijiye, Badne lagi hai baat... koi baat kijiye... Hai zindagi ka saath...Koi baat kijiye... Kat jaayegi Ye raat...Koi baat kijiye, Jaane tanhaai... humse kya , keh rahi hai? Dil ki gehraari... Humse kya keh rahi hai... Yun saadgi K saath Koi baat Kijiye... Ban kar rahegi Baat...Koi baat kijiye!)

May Be I still feel Something For You... - 1

DISCLAIMER - This is a work of Fiction and Has nothing to do with Any depiction Of a fact Or something like this

Do You belive In Love? One sided Love? and Does The person You Love once.... ever leaves your mind? Do Love stories actually have an ending for those Involved, after They end for the world around them.

****************************

She Saw Him -

“You Know what??? That Hunk type Guy is staring at you like hell”, Roshni said!

“h! huh! Who? “ replied Sana Politely as always. She was feeling sleepy in that boring, match spectator gallery, cricket was a boring affair for sana hasan!!

“That one...” she said!

Pointing to a guy standing 20 steps away from them!.

Sana stayed quiet...

“ He had dropped 3 catches till now...as his mind is somewhere else “ Roshni said, giggling more.

Sana looked at him... there was a 5 feet 8 inches tall boy, with uncombed hairs and specticals, The poor guy accused of doing bird watching was concentrating in the fielding only when she observed him. He was cute but not a hunk in any way. 30 minutes more they continued to watch the game. The only thing that was clear was... their school team will lose surely and this Mr was an idiot in field, even a child could have stopped the 5 boundaries which passed right from next to his position in mid field.

They came back joking about him.

They Met -

you bloody don't know these days when sudden showers might come in from nowhere. The same happened that day also... sun was bright and torturing when out of a sudden clouds came and soon the rain.... the cute Sana was trying to resist the force of wind that was pulling her umbrella along, she was about to enter her gully, returning from coaching... her class 9^th maths book was half wet in the bag! Spaaaaaaaaaaaat! Her old umbrella got flown away from her hands, she tried to chase it but it was running faster then a racer. She was drenched by that time, her pure milky white skin was shining when pearls of water droplets rested on them, it was still raining fast and hard! She looked up and closed her eyes to let water seep within her soul, her light green suit have turned wet to entirety. Tip tip tip water droplets crashed on her forehead and golden hair locks. Just then an umbrella stopped her celebration and came over her, The 5 feet 4 Sana noticed The same guy standing right next to her, whom she saw that day on ground, The idiot fielder! He held the umbrella high in his right hand while holding a gab with his left hand, it was Sana's bag which she has dropped on ground while forgetting everything else when talking to rain. “Bheeg jaayengi aap” he said. His voice was very deep and compassionate.

She blushed and felt like a kid, they walked a few steps together without talking and at the door steps of her gully she moved away from him and went in. he said nothing too, not even bye and moved on. That was the first time Sana had walked with a guy actually, she was a child brought up in very conservative atmosphere and kept thinking about it whole night that day.

They Fell In Love -

Annual cultural competition of dance took place in school. Belonging to the same school house, class 12^thth Sana were placed as a pair. They had become Hi-Bye friends in school till that time. “Yahi sach hai shayad maine pyaar kiya...” this was the song on which they were doing a pair dance, as coordinated by the music teacher!

During a practice one day, the not so Thin Sana slipped her feet, she fell... a crowd of people who were somewhat always jealous of the outspoken Sana started laughing badly on her! She was numb for a moment, till someone held her sand and said “Utho Sana.. its ok! “ she tried getting up... while still some hu hu he he continued in the background, she had broken her ankle and again started to crumble stumble, just then the guy who politely told her to stand without laughing a bit, held her tight at waist with a hand approached from the back bone as Sana firmly rested her hand on his shoulder and they looked into each other's eyes! Sana's eyes were full of tears about to come and also shame and embarrassment while his eyes were with a satisfaction smile as if saying, its Ok! You are fine, I am here, You did your best! They looked deep into each others eyes and the cupid struck with a pin pointed arrow right on their hearts!

Separated and Regrouped -

as they started meeting each other, Sana and Ritesh fell in love more and more every passing day! Then there were dates, crazy and funny! Dancing in farms to kissing on stage, Traveling hand in hand in tempos to Talking from night till morning on phone, They never discussed future as they were living the present of their life like a present indeed! They had their love story...unlike any other ever!

Sana wanted to join the same college and this plead of her, confirmed his elder brother's doubt of her going around of Ritesh! He had seen both of them together once, few weeks back!

He reported the incident at home and Sana's further studies were canceled without even asking her once! She cried for days, but her parents were too too rash, it was unacceptable for them that their daughter talks to a boy from other community,forget about being in a relationship, it just was not in the question at all.

He kept loving her, in the final year of college, working side by side for a call center, he had collected enough money for both of them! He called up Sana and they ran away. Sana came to her friend Roshni's home and from there they ran away! They went to a temple and got married the same night. He took her to his home and they were not accepted there! They started living in hidden together at a flat of his friend. Sana's parents found her... Her dad was a teacher and mom was an educated person too! No rash decision was taken by them. They came and asked Ritesh to send Sana back to home and promised that if Ritesh can pursue his parents to accept their family and Sana, then they can have a proper marriage again after a year!

The Ending -

Ritesh went back home and joined his father's business! Sana wrote mails to him every 3^rd month and they talked on phone once in that year! One day His parents gave up to his love and asked him to take time from Sana's parents so that they can meet them and officially decide the marriage procedure again! It was after 1 year and 8 months of their marriage in temple!

He went to Sana's home but there was a lock hanging on the door! He tried mailing her but her ID had expired too... it was 3 years later that one day he saw her on facebook, she was in Dubai by then, happily married to a guy there! She got this info after discovering one old common friend from her profile, He is also also married to a beautiful girl from Delhi. That Girl was her best friend in professional life and she knows every thing about Sana, and pulls Rithesh's Leg that he still loves Sana more then her... which is not true! But still he does want to meet Sana once and asked her why she never said that final goodbye!

Rimjhim si teri boondon mein
Main kuch Is kadar Kho gaya
Ki Khud Ki parchai mein tere aks Dekhne ki
Aadat si pad gayi...

Tujhe yaad rakhne ki koi wajah bhi nahi
Aur Tujhe Bhula pana Mumkin bhi nahi
Kuch aur na sahi toh Itna hi maloom hai kewal.. ki...
Dil ki dhadkan K shor mein hi kahin
Ek awaaz teri Bhi hai aur sada Rahegi

*******************************************

( P.S. - I Don't know how many of you will read this? Its a bit too long to write On a single Blog post But I guess... dividing it In two would kill the essence! Try to step Into the shoes of guy and feel what He might have gone through when He lost her simply out of no where... Why do you think The girl left him without a final good bye? AH! I know the circumstances and all and bla bla but still... Just a good bye or a last call might have made his helplessness a little less... Dont you think so? Am I obsessed with Negative Endings? Am I asking too many questions in a single go? May Be I fear that you too would leave me without a Final good bye one day )

( P.P.S. - Bikhre sabhi sapne hain... Bichde sabhi apne hain... aaye bezaar mausam, Khoyi Khushi Mil gaye Gum, Zindagi hosh mein... Hi nahin, Zindagi Hosh mein Hi nahi! Hum nahi jaante baat yeh... Khool dil ka bahega aankhon se, Thi kahan ye khabar.. Lut jayega mera jahaan.. reh jayega sirf andhera, Bas Ek Pal mein! Zindagi hosh mein hi nahin)

3 NOVELS IN 10 DAYS! BOOKS review - 2

Phewwwwww! This is the second time I am doing book review on my blog... When was the last time I did that???? You dont know! Ok! It was after my Winter break.... READ THAT HERE

I usually read slowly but constantly, this series 3 BOOKS IN 10 DAYS is meant for the books that grab my collar and make me stuck to my reading chair so that I cannot move away till I finish them. I recommended those to my friends and most of those who have followed my recommendations have enjoyed reading each of them so Here comes The 3 books I chose for the review this time, 3 books which have made my life in the past 10 days cheerful and given me so many reasons to smile and so many things worth talking to. so... lets start!

************************************

THE ULTIMATE GIFT by JIM STOVALL – a masterpiece and a must read !! Thanks to My dear friend, The owner of National Book house, Kanpur who recommended this to me and I purchased it from there hence forth.

Deals with the life of young Jason's quest of completing certain tasks to acquire the Ultimate gift which is to be provided to him as per the in accordance of his Great Grand Uncle Red.

Each task teaches Jason a vital lesson of life, and The simplest way of preaching moral values along with some Immortal quotes is what You have in store here! What all happen then and there.... go grab your copy and read , I assure you that you would be thankful to me that I recommended this to you! I would not talk any further about this cos Its a classic too too good for me to analyze any more! All I can say is that from my side it is...

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and A MUST READ!

My rating for this is 9.5 out of 10, One of the simplest and worthy best books I have ever read.

************************************

THE LOUDEST FIRECRACKER by ARUN KRISHNAN – I caught hold of this one, two days later to My celebrated finish of The previous one. Purchased from Waves, Lucknow. Started a bit slow but soon grabbed my attention a lot. The central character is a 10 year Old Boy, and the book deals with his vision of the world around him. Its realistic, Its funny and yet very emotional at a lot of places! It make you the bond that you share with your parents, The warmth of your mother, The coconut like compassion of your father. The long and memorable evenings of playing with friends. Every aspect of narration from the third person speech at maximum places is sarcastic and hilarious, eventually left me in a flurry of emotions at many places. How straight are things and How complicated we turn them around us is a lesson that every reader can learn when you see it from the vision of the author! I was glad to see someone attempting a work like on his debut novel. Childhood thought process and its innocence at its best is what one can expect with this one! Its a brilliant book and very unique from what Indian author shelf usually provides you and I recommended you not to miss it this summers! My rating for this is 9 Out of 10, A beautiful piece of reality based fiction and interesting read throughout.

*****************************************

THOSE SMALL LIL THINGS IN LIFE AND LOVE by RAHUL SAINI – I went to receive my father from railway station and there from the platform 1 shop 'WHEELERS' , My eye was caught by this interesting title on the shelf! This book is divided into three parts within it, let me deal with them separately.

PART – 1 of the book seemed pretty low to me in terms of interest and hold! It deals with the childhood of the lead character. The start of his school life. His thoughts are too concrete at many places and specially after reading The Loudest firecracker just a couple of days back, I found the innocence missing on many spots! Still many paragraphs left a grin on my face and I was never bored along the journey of little raj, specially the honesty with which the narration was bound.

PART – 2 deals with the journey towards the end of the school life! This was my favorite portion of the book! I loved every incidence of relationship between Neelhans and Raj, as well as between Rushi and Raj! All those fun of classes took me back in my memory lane and made me relive the school life once again! Awwwwwww! Dint I cried missing my school days while reading all this! I clap on the effort of Rahul Saini for picking up a great pace in this portion, which makes it a great read! Nostalgia mounted high on me and This is greatly due to the simplicity and pureness of narration.

PART -3 thats the story of the corridors of college, the book again lost a bit of its pace and At places the repetition of so many female characters and their persona in the mail plot made it all complicated, but thats how our life is! Too many people to talk off! Too many things to wonder and to us they all seem to be well known, yet as a reader It somehow turns complex. Anyways thats not a flaw, its just what I felt... The college romance at many places lacks explanation. The journey from college to office though was beautiful and boss related sarcasm was as good as it can be! I loved it.

Along side the 3 phase journey of Raj, the Book deal with his life in office and at home currently, which at places was funny and very delightful to read all the way. THE book in the end leaves you actually thinking about THOSE INFINITE LIL things that define us and shape us the way we are! Cheers for a very good show in the debut By Rahul, I believe that he has the potential to improve and again come up with a better work. I would provide 8.5 on 10 to The Book, Glad that I read it and hopefully at the very right time! Life is so so beautiful and I love the way that I have lived it always, this book made me realize that yet again. A highly recommended for all those who wants to move back in memory lanes and smile again!

*****************************************

( P.S. - even when I don't feel like talking, I still feel like blogging! Its turning from worse to worst, and I need you to be more supportive, But I guess... I am a lone traveller on the highway where I had been travelling since ages... I feel alone! and helpless too! at a lot of times... and yeah! Thats true)

(P.P.S. - Phoolon k mausam mein milne aate hain, pathjhad mein panchi bankar ud jaate hain... hasti aankhon ko aansu de jaate hain... waada kar k bhi na wapas aate hain )